PCT Cold Feet?

There I was, sitting with my dog, Kadin, snuggled up on my lap. Kadin knew I was leaving, he always does; this, resulting in the slow breaking of my heart. The last 12 hours have been a very confusing time for my heart. Leaving Kadin is always hard, whether it is a few days, or a few months. However, the wait is finally over. So excitement, anticipation of what is to come, and anxiousness for the travels to begin, also filled my heart. Something was there that I didn’t expect though, and was a bit overwhelming. Nervousness. Was I getting cold feet??

I tried to pinpoint the nervousness and I simply couldn’t. I’m prepared; I’m somewhat of an experienced backpacker; I’ve definitely gone overboard in the planning process…. So, why the nervousness? Anxiousness, I get. Excitement, completely understandable, but nervousness? WTF. 

I finally made it to the airport with the rents and parted ways with them, as we were on different flights. I boarded my flight to Minnesota (because it makes complete sense to go north before going southwest, to San Diego) and found my seat, but someone was sitting in it. 

As I awkwardly told her she was in my seat and eventually, clumsily landed in my seat next to the window, the gal sat next to me… even though her seat was the isle seat. No one was in the isle seat, yet she stayed… Yep, she stayed, right there next to me. I have personal space issues lady. Maybe she has an isle seat phobia. We will say she does. I got over it. 

In Minneapolis, I purchased subpar overpriced airport food, helping to pass the 3 hour layover time. I wandered through the airport, stopping in every little shop along the way to my gate. My mind wondered, hoping for the next flight to provide me with a cute guy in the seat next to me. Although, I always hope for this, and not once has this ever happened. This wouldn’t necessarily be great timing to meet the man of my dreams though. Although, it would be my luck to meet him, right before I set forth to walk 2,659 miles. Well, he could wait.

As I know you are all on the edge of your seat, asking yourselves if “Prince Charming” sat next to me; casually flirting, laughing, and graciously complementing me throughout the 4 hour flight. He didn’t. However, I did get an entire row to myself, which is questionably more exciting than meeting Mr. Charming. 

I watched the in flight map on the monitor in front of me, counting down the miles. I thought to myself, “it is going to take me months to walk the distance, that this plane goes in minutes”. I felt sick to my stomach; I’m pretty sure the turbulence on the plane is what caused this. Not the fact that I’ll be walking… every day for 150-183 days… one mile after another. Every. Single. Day. And hello nervousness. I’ve missed you. 

So, what does it feel like to be days away from setting forth on a 2,659 mile on foot adventure? I’d imagine it feels like being on a spaceship, taking off for orbit into space (only because I just watched Hidden Figures on the plane). Excited to orbit Earth… Nervous that everything will work out; not the way that you planned it, but just work out…. Anxious about what is to come…. Once you are orbiting space though, I would imagine that it is unlike anything ever experienced, one of the best and most memorable experiences in life, just as I imagine hiking the Pacific Crest Trail is going to be. 

Cold feet, or not, there is no turning back now. Just kidding. I could. Despite the nervousness, I’ve still never been more excited for anything in my lifetime thus far.  I have no desire to turn back. Helllloooo San Diego. 

See you on the trail! 

14 thoughts on “PCT Cold Feet?

  1. Daniele,
    It’s ok to be nervous !!! You wouldn’t be HUMAN if you weren’t. ๐Ÿ˜Š Every once and awhile, take a deep breath. You are embarking on a “dream come true”. What awaits you, will be some indescribable moments of sheer pleasure. All of us, who have shared time with you, wish you SAFE TRAVELS, and await your pictures, and word blogs of your adventure.
    “Happy Trails” ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Or even those of us – like myself who have never met but feel / share your adopted outdoors adventure spirit.
    If you were not nervous a bit then your humanity would be in question as JR mentioned. The confidence comes after doing the unkown, the trial and error, facing challenges each day either in work life or on trail, etc.
    You will do greay. It will be epoch. Live in moment. Day at a time. You will meet awesome like minded, like doing people on PCT and will hike with you if you choose for those areas in sierras or whichever you feel desirable of human support. Many would love to do what you do but don’t either from fear of unknown or lifestyle choice. Don’t mean to sound like preacher but rather words of encouragement from like minded outdoors fan who appreciates your adventures and photographic talent. One step at a time. God speed!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yeah, leaving is really tough for me too. It’s a BIG step, that first one. But once you get out there, I think you’ll be fine. Probably more than fine. Nice desert bloom this year! Can’t wait to see your photos.
    -Glide

    Liked by 1 person

  4. If there is anyone I know that can do this, it’s YOU! Your the most adventurous, outgoing, go get we, I know! As for kadin and Prince Charming , they will be waiting on you! Be safe and have a wonderful time! Love u!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I hiked the PCT last year and had a similar experience leading up to the start. Like you, I over-planned, stressed out to the point of barely sleeping. Then travelling to the trail was a cluster of a day where I sat on a curb for 2.5 hours because I missed the bus by 2 minutes. Once on the trail, all that went away as I found the wonderful flow of long-distance hiking. I hope the hike goes as well for you as it did for me.

    Pathfinder

    Liked by 1 person

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